Don't worry. I haven't gotten all philisophical on you. I just had some of the most awesome things happen to me. I do not mean "awesome" as in "over-the-top great and positive". I mean awesome as in, larger than anything I could have imagined.
I witnessed my sister in law die. I saw her come to the end of an over 20 year earthly struggle with her body. I saw her bodily, physical presence here vanish as she made her way to see Our Maker, The One Who made all things, all creatures, all people. We will miss her until we see her again. We will miss her quirky sense of humor, her trust in the scary "youth of today, adults of tomorrow", her joyful spin on the veriest of the crazy, stressed out life we all live. She was an inspiration in not these astounding feats of spreading joy and love, but in her humility. In her quiet, unassuming, subtle way of being. She would enter a group of other adults and opt to run with the gaggle of kids screaming their way through the living room. She'd rather sit in a corner and fill out little scraps of paper to get them started on a treasure hunt than sit at the kitchen table and talk through the latest news. She was destined to go to Him. She was too good at living.
I witnessed a sweet little boy tragically leave this earthly existence. He came from the most loving of families. He was innocence and precociousness and all boy and all sweetness. His mom loves her family fiercely. She goes through the daily grind with an outpouring of love and care for her family AND her friends AND her patients, who just happen to be animals. His dad is a quiet, strength of a man with an objective to make those around him smile. He towers over most people with his physical presence, but he cleverly disarms you with his humor and instant friendship. His two older sisters are his best of friends. Sure, they may use him as a costumed player in their production or a partner in their squeals of joy and laughter, but make no mistake: they'll do anything for their baby brother. They are a family that God is proud of, I have to be sure of that. So, that being said, of course our little baby boy had to go. He was too good at living.
I struggle with their departures. I ache over them. I cry and weep and sob and shudder at those they have left behind. I feel a void.
Then I remember.
God's Will. God's Plan. I struggle with both. They seem to go against my nature. Um. Correction. I guess it's more like MY will and MY plan seem to go against God's. Just as I confronted my little friend's mother today about her son's leaving of this life, I have to remind myself that God's Son had to humble Himself so much to come down here and live as a man. What exactly does that mean? I heard it analyzed in this way... imagine yourself with all your knowledge, all your physical strength and coordination, have to transform yourself to exist as a worm. You are limited (to say the least!). In that way, how "limited" was Jesus to come save us in the state of a baby, then a boy, then a man? He does have a plan. I actually started calling it a mystery. I guess I should amend that to "infinite mystery to which we will never find the answer".
When we are hurt by this void, my only comfort does indeed come from the Lord. I know my sister in law and my little friend ARE enjoying God's Beautiful Face right now. I know that. God, thank You for allowing me that huge comfort. When I shed tears for their absence, I snap myself to attention and remind myself to be patient for the answer to that question. There's no pain. There's only Love where they are.
I love you all. Every single person. God created you so beautifully and so marvelously that in that fact alone, you are deserving of love and attention.
